Get Help Now!  (312) 655-7700
  Do You Need Rent, SNAP or Utility Assistance?

Newsletters & Articles


LOSS Program Office
721 N. LaSalle Street
Chicago, IL 60654

Main Line: (312) 655-7283
Fax Line: (312) 948-3340

Featured this Month:

From the Desk of Father Rubey
Wednesday, June 28, 2017 by Father Ruby
The great American holiday is celebrated on the 4th of July. This is a day when we commemorate the event when our Founding Leaders fought to throw off the shackles of an oppressive regime. These people fought and many of them died in order to create a more humane environment. While our country is not perfect it certainly enables all of us to live free and have many opportunities to live out our dreams and pursue our goals. For this we give thanks that out Founding Leaders had the courage and the foresight to follow their dreams and aspirations. They created an environment and produced a road map that we follow to this day. Our country has gotten better over the centuries as our leaders have perfected and refined the original documents that gave our country its beginning. Our country has evolved since the first shots were fired and the shackles were thrown off.

The members of the LOSS family have experienced great suffering as they lost a loved one to suicide. They were left to look into a future that seemed to be bereft of all hope and a life that was going to be filled with excruciating pain and no pleasure. The dark cloud of intense grief was going to follow them for the rest of their lives. At the beginning of the grief journey survivors feel as if life is not worth living. The grief is going to ruin any future that survivors might have had prior to the suicide. Life is not worth living without this loved one. Life is over. It is true that the life that was lived while this loved one was part of that life is over. But life in and of itself is not over. Survivors continue to live and work and go through the machinations of living and discover that life does go on. There is a void created by the death of this loved one but life continues to unfold and evolve.

Survivors will always be frustrated if they attempt to get back to the way life was before this loved took their life. That part of life is over and will never be as it was prior to the suicide. It is a vital part of the grief journey that survivors come to the realization that there has been a major shift in their lives and that the life that was lived with this loved one is now over and never to be retrieved but life for the survivor will continue to evolve. This is a very painful admission for survivors to accept and it takes time for this concept to become a part of the life of the survivor but in order for the survivor to thrive in the future this recognition needs to take place in some fashion during the grief journey. Some survivors refer to this as the new normal. Whatever phraseology is used the idea is the same that there is a major shift in the life of survivors. A void has been created by the suicide and survivors are challenged to search and discover what lies ahead in their life. There is a continuation of living for survivor. In the beginning it is almost like the survivor is put on automatic pilot and goes through the motions of living but life seems to have been sucked out of the survivor. It is very normal for survivors not to want to continue living without this loved one because they were a vital part of the family system.

Survivors are at a crossroad in the grief journey. Life does not seem worth living without this much loved person. Survivors might want to close up shop and go into hiding but what kind of life will that be? The journey is very long and painful but lives can be recreated and have been recreated. It takes a great deal of courage to venture forth and discover what opportunities are out there in life to bring fulfillment and joy and pleasure to the survivor. It won’t be the same as before because that life with the survivor has ceased to exist but there is a life to be lived despite the fact of a suicide of a loved one. It is important for survivors to make the decision that “my life is not over because my loved one took their life. I still have a life to be lived and I am going to look for opportunities to enhance my life.” This is not being selfish or self-centered. This is being realistic and brave and willing to venture forth into the future and discover what there is in life to be shared and enhanced in the life of the survivor. This is a big step for survivors to take and it is a risky step. Such a step is not part of the initial stage of the grief journey. Such a step takes place well into the journey. The initial part of the journey is the acceptance of what happened and come to the realization of this traumatic event. The acceptance of the suicide is the very first step to be taken. Life after the suicide is well down the journey and is taken when the survivor has the strength to look into the future. There might not be the desire to look into the future without this loved one but if there is to be a life after the suicide survivors are challenged to take the risk and look for those opportunities. That is a very brave step to take but it is worth taking to see and discover what lies ahead. This is all part of the evolution and challenge for survivors to discover. The opportunities are out there and it is up to the survivor to make use of these opportunities and to see what kind of a life there is to be lived. Survivors of a completed suicide are among the bravest people in the world because at the beginning of the journey lives are shattered and appear to be beyond any hope of ever experiencing joy or happiness again and yet happiness and joy can be a part of survivor’s lives if they are willing to take the time and effort to explore. This takes courage and a brave spirit to venture forth.

As always, I want to assure each and every member of the LOSS family of my thoughts and prayers and I encourage all family members to do the same for each other—especially for those who have recently joined our family.

Keep On Keepin’ On,


Rev. Charles T. Rubey


Archives:

From the Desk of Father Rubey
Wednesday, June 28, 2017 by Father Ruby
The great American holiday is celebrated on the 4th of July. This is a day when we commemorate the event when our Founding Leaders fought to throw off the shackles of an oppressive regime. These people fought and many of them died in order to create a more humane environment. While our country is not perfect it certainly enables all of us to live free and have many opportunities to live out our dreams and pursue our goals. For this we give thanks that out Founding Leaders had the courage and the foresight to follow their dreams and aspirations. They created an environment and produced a road map that we follow to this day. Our country has gotten better over the centuries as our leaders have perfected and refined the original documents that gave our country its beginning. Our country has evolved since the first shots were fired and the shackles were thrown off.

The members of the LOSS family have experienced great suffering as they lost a loved one to suicide. They were left to look into a future that seemed to be bereft of all hope and a life that was going to be filled with excruciating pain and no pleasure. The dark cloud of intense grief was going to follow them for the rest of their lives. At the beginning of the grief journey survivors feel as if life is not worth living. The grief is going to ruin any future that survivors might have had prior to the suicide. Life is not worth living without this loved one. Life is over. It is true that the life that was lived while this loved one was part of that life is over. But life in and of itself is not over. Survivors continue to live and work and go through the machinations of living and discover that life does go on. There is a void created by the death of this loved one but life continues to unfold and evolve.

Survivors will always be frustrated if they attempt to get back to the way life was before this loved took their life. That part of life is over and will never be as it was prior to the suicide. It is a vital part of the grief journey that survivors come to the realization that there has been a major shift in their lives and that the life that was lived with this loved one is now over and never to be retrieved but life for the survivor will continue to evolve. This is a very painful admission for survivors to accept and it takes time for this concept to become a part of the life of the survivor but in order for the survivor to thrive in the future this recognition needs to take place in some fashion during the grief journey. Some survivors refer to this as the new normal. Whatever phraseology is used the idea is the same that there is a major shift in the life of survivors. A void has been created by the suicide and survivors are challenged to search and discover what lies ahead in their life. There is a continuation of living for survivor. In the beginning it is almost like the survivor is put on automatic pilot and goes through the motions of living but life seems to have been sucked out of the survivor. It is very normal for survivors not to want to continue living without this loved one because they were a vital part of the family system.

Survivors are at a crossroad in the grief journey. Life does not seem worth living without this much loved person. Survivors might want to close up shop and go into hiding but what kind of life will that be? The journey is very long and painful but lives can be recreated and have been recreated. It takes a great deal of courage to venture forth and discover what opportunities are out there in life to bring fulfillment and joy and pleasure to the survivor. It won’t be the same as before because that life with the survivor has ceased to exist but there is a life to be lived despite the fact of a suicide of a loved one. It is important for survivors to make the decision that “my life is not over because my loved one took their life. I still have a life to be lived and I am going to look for opportunities to enhance my life.” This is not being selfish or self-centered. This is being realistic and brave and willing to venture forth into the future and discover what there is in life to be shared and enhanced in the life of the survivor. This is a big step for survivors to take and it is a risky step. Such a step is not part of the initial stage of the grief journey. Such a step takes place well into the journey. The initial part of the journey is the acceptance of what happened and come to the realization of this traumatic event. The acceptance of the suicide is the very first step to be taken. Life after the suicide is well down the journey and is taken when the survivor has the strength to look into the future. There might not be the desire to look into the future without this loved one but if there is to be a life after the suicide survivors are challenged to take the risk and look for those opportunities. That is a very brave step to take but it is worth taking to see and discover what lies ahead. This is all part of the evolution and challenge for survivors to discover. The opportunities are out there and it is up to the survivor to make use of these opportunities and to see what kind of a life there is to be lived. Survivors of a completed suicide are among the bravest people in the world because at the beginning of the journey lives are shattered and appear to be beyond any hope of ever experiencing joy or happiness again and yet happiness and joy can be a part of survivor’s lives if they are willing to take the time and effort to explore. This takes courage and a brave spirit to venture forth.

As always, I want to assure each and every member of the LOSS family of my thoughts and prayers and I encourage all family members to do the same for each other—especially for those who have recently joined our family.

Keep On Keepin’ On,


Rev. Charles T. Rubey