By Deborah R. Major, PhD, LCSW 

After working as a private banker for years, I realized I wasn’t doing what I was called to do. I returned to school, earned a degree in social work, and applied to be a   therapist at Catholic Charities. As I was waiting for my interview in the lobby of a former school in the Back-of-the-Yards neighborhood, a little boy came down the stairs and attempted to push open this very big, heavy, wooden door. I thought, ‘I need to go help that child.’ Instantly, I knew I had to work here. I realized I have to help children trying to push through doors they can’t open. I went on to provide therapy for children in Catholic Charities’ foster care for 16 years.  

In 2010, I was asked to create a program for children participating in Catholic Charities’ Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide program, founded by Father Charles T. Rubey in the 1970s. The program brings people together, creating a community of survivors who support each other. Individual counseling and support groups are held in person across Cook and Lake counties, and also online. LOSS hosts support groups for spouses, parents, Spanish speakers, families of first responders, and others, and a writing group. I went on to become the program’s director, working alongside Father Rubey for 16 years now, as well as seven clinicians and 43 volunteer group facilitators who are survivors.  

Everyone who comes to the LOSS program is trying to understand the nature of the pain of their loved one who took their own life. They ask themselves: What was going on? Why didn’t I know this was happening? Why didn’t they ask for help? Why didn’t I do something different that day that could have prevented this? 

In our counseling sessions, we don’t provide the answers to these questions, but we do explain that the person was in a great deal of psychological pain. Many of the people who die by suicide are suffering from mental illness that was just too painful to bear. 

LOSS is Ready to Help

We want survivors to know that LOSS is here when they are ready. We provide a community, resources, and education to the survivor about suicide and suicide bereavement to help them understand their feelings.  

We encourage survivors to join our groups to connect with other survivors experiencing the same emotions and struggles as they grapple with the “why” question. They need to share their story, then they need to hear the stories of other survivors. As the survivor explores grief and shares it with other people, the narrative evolves to become more realistic and coherent. The survivor develops more compassion for themselves and for their deceased loved one. It’s this turning of the prism and the evolution of the narrative that helps the survivor heal. 

Suicide is not a sin. It’s the result of mental illness. In May, we recognize National Mental Health Awareness Month and the importance of caring for our mental health.  

Mental Health Awareness

It’s up to each of us to help each other in our mental health journeys. Survivors of suicide come to LOSS feeling ostracized, kicked out of acceptable social circles, and this program brings people back inside the circle — it’s restorative. Not only do they take their place in the circle, survivors, volunteers, and donors are reaching behind them for the next person coming through the door and welcoming them into the circle. We need a way to take care of our neighbors in the aftermath of suicide. LOSS helps anyone out there who’s willing to come in, sit down, and share their story about being touched by suicide. 
 
Later this month, we will host our annual Blossoms of Hope brunch gathering more than 400 survivors to honor their loved ones and celebrate the support and connections the LOSS program makes possible.  We hope you will join us Sunday, April 26, 2026 — all are welcome.  To register, visit catholiccharities.net/events/blossoms-of-hope-brunch-2026 

If you or a loved one has been touched by suicide and would like to know more about the support that the LOSS program can provide, email [email protected]. Or if you would like to support our program that lifts up hundreds of suicide survivors every year, visit catholiccharities.net/give. 

988 is your connection to free, confidential crisis counseling, mental health and substance use support, information and referrals. You can reach the toll-free help line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by phone, text, and online chat. Behavioral health professionals can link you to the services you need. 

Deborah R. Major, PhD, LCSW, is the Director of Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide for Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Chicago.