• Why it matters: Father Charles T. Rubey has spent 47 years helping families after the suicide of a loved one.
• The milestone: On April 26, 2026, he was honored at the Blossoms of Hope brunch on the same day he marked 60 years as a priest.
• The impact: The LOSS program continues to expand suicide grief support for survivors across our region and country.

For nearly five decades, Father Charles T. Rubey has been a trusted source of suicide grief support for families facing one of life’s most painful losses. That legacy was celebrated April 26, 2026, when 500 survivors, families and supporters gathered at the Blossoms of Hope brunch at the Westin Chicago Lombard.

Father Rubey received a standing ovation as he accepted the Charles T. Rubey Award, named in his honor and presented to people who have strengthened care for survivors of suicide loss.

“It’s been an honor to work with people whose lives have been devastated by suicide,” Father Rubey said.

“The LOSS program helps people overcome the misunderstanding about what suicide is and it has enriched people,” he continued. “The LOSS program helps them in the grief process, assists people to move on with their lives, to experience joy again even though life is going to be different without that loved one.”

The LOSS program is in its 47^th year of creating a community of survivors who support each other. Individual counseling and support groups are held in person across Cook and Lake counties and online. LOSS hosts support groups for spouses, parents, Spanish speakers, families of first responders, and others. The groups are led by seven clinicians and 43 volunteer facilitators who are survivors. The brunch, which raised $196,000 to support the program, brings together survivors and friends in a space where compassion, understanding, and connection can grow, said Caitlin Carroll, 2026 Event Chair.

“The most valuable lesson I’ve learned from Father Rubey and the LOSS program is that  there is healing in sharing your grief,” said Caitlin, who lost her brother to suicide five years ago. “The LOSS program offers space for people to show up exactly as they are in that moment. Most importantly, it reminds us that wherever we are in our journey, it’s OK.”

LOSS has worked with thousands of survivors including Judy, who went on to serve as a group facilitator for 20 years after the loss of her 18-year-old son.

“If they need people to help other people and I can do this without falling apart, I wanted to help,” Judy said, adding that the experience was healing. “I separated my feelings and experiences from other survivors. That was a blessing so I could be with other people who needed someone to listen to.”

Judy and her husband, Chuck, have been attending the brunch for over a decade.

“I think it’s incredible to find mentors, people you can work with and talk through your issues. It’s important to all of us,” Chuck said. “Time doesn’t heal — you need to grow yourself to get beyond it.”

Judy agreed. “It never gets any easier in my ability to cope with it and not let it dissolve me,” she said.  “It’s wonderful to talk to other people here because you don’t have to go into how you’re feeling because they already know.”

It was 40 years ago when Pamela was connected to LOSS after three suicides in her family.

 “It really helped me because I had nowhere to go and I knew I needed help,” she said. Pamela participated in LOSS for 20 years, and she makes it a priority to attend the brunch annually “to remember there’s a way out. I tell people all the time about LOSS.”

It was thanks to three families who each lost a child to suicide that LOSS was founded with Father Rubey. Elaine, who attends the brunch annually with her entire family, is the daughter of one of the founding families.

“The first LOSS meeting was in February 1979 in our home with Father Rubey and two other couples,” Elaine said. “When my sister died at 18, there was nothing for suicide survivors. I’m here to honor her, to remember her, and to honor the work Father Rubey did, and to honor my parents for being so brave.”

She tells the story of that first meeting of the families gathered as her mother expressed hesitation in starting the LOSS program. Just as her mother said the words, “I don’t know if this is really what we should do,” her sister’s portrait fell off the credenza. It was then Father Rubey said, “I guess that’s our answer.”

LOSS and Catholic Cemeteries have collaborated to create a memorial site for those who have died by suicide and for all who loved them. The At Peace Memorial will be dedicated on Friday, June 26 at 1 p.m. at Queen of Heaven Cemetery in Hillside, Illinois. To RSVP, please email [email protected]. “A tragedy worse than losing a loved one to suicide, is if they were forgotten. This monument will be an expression of remembrance.” — Father Rubey